So far, so good...

I hate the fact I almost think the other shoe is going to fall and I am almost waiting for it.  But at the same time I feel so full of energy and have a weight lifted off of me because I feel so open about life now.  And what is funny I think that part of it has not to do with the fact I have chosen to be open about my spiritual beliefs...it is that I recognized I was off balance...which can be pretty important to a Gemini...I was hiding and I was to worried about presenting only one face of who I was....Must be professional and all that good stuff!

What started this renewal journey was that I realized I was talking to the "munchkins" (my unofficial term of affection for the kids) where I work and I wasn't practicing what I preach.  I was so busy worried making sure I kept my professional "face" on, that I wasn't letting the other side of me out for air.  And for the longest time it didn't bother me...noticeably anyway.  Then like all things that are left broken and not fixed, it built up and people started to say that I didn't seem happy anymore.  I couldn't put my finger on it, it just wasn't "clicking over" in my head.  Then the voice inside my head said I just wasn't being true to myself, this is why I wasn't being "me."  I had lost the passion of exploration and self expression for the sake of being "proper"...I went overboard on the conservative side.

I realize as we get older we have to be be more responsible, something I am kinda hit and miss at so far.  But I am getting better and I know I have done better than I give myself credit for.  I guess that I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall is because I am waiting for friends and acquaintances to walk away.  At the same time I know that if someone is not accepting of me then that is their decision.  Just as I make decisions who I allow into my world.  I did lose an aquaintance on FaceBook, but it didn't really surprise me who it was.  Most of her status updates were about surrendering to Lord, which I don't believe, but it is her belief and that is great for her. But it goes back to a person being able to choose the who, what, where, when, and whys in life!  I like my lesson for today!